Why I Hate Going to the Dentist and How It Informs My Clinical Practice

Recently, I had one of those dreaded dentist appointments. You know the kind—where you sit in the chair and brace yourself for the inevitable lecture. Sure enough, I was told in no uncertain terms that I should be flossing more. Apparently, my habit of flossing twice a week is practically a sin in the dental world. The dentist, with a tone more suited for explaining a new concept to a kindergartner, went through the basics of oral hygiene as though I was hearing it for the first time.

Here’s the kicker: I’m in healthcare. I know why flossing is important. But no one asked me why I only floss twice a week. No one considered whether there was a reason I wasn’t doing it daily. The entire conversation was a one-way lecture, filled with assumptions and devoid of curiosity. And there wasn’t even a moment where I felt like I could ask questions or explain my side.

This experience reminded me of something I see far too often in healthcare, including my own field of physical therapy and coaching: patients are treated like numbers on a chart rather than real, complex human beings. There’s a goal—whether it’s flossing daily or sticking to an exercise program—and when someone isn’t meeting that goal, we jump to conclusions without taking the time to understand the why. It’s almost as if we lose sight of the person in front of us, viewing them more as a potential revenue source or someone to be “fixed” rather than listened to.

In that moment at the dentist’s office, I recognized that I’ve been guilty of the same thing in my own practice. How many times have I “lectured” a patient about the importance of doing their home exercise program, assuming their lack of compliance is due to laziness, disinterest, or apathy? It’s easy to assume we know best, but when we don’t take the time to ask the right questions, we miss an opportunity for connection and understanding.

This was reinforced during a recent session with one of my patients. We had agreed on a set of exercises to address his cardiovascular fitness, but when he came in for his follow-up, it was clear he hadn’t been doing them. My initial instinct could have been to label him as non-compliant and move on. But instead, I asked a simple question: Why haven’t you been doing the exercises?

His response changed everything. He didn’t understand why these exercises were important for his situation, especially since his primary concern was nerve root-related back pain. He didn’t see the connection between his current issue and cardiovascular fitness, so of course, the exercises didn’t feel meaningful to him. Without asking that additional question, I would’ve chalked his behavior up to disinterest and missed the opportunity to address his actual concerns.

Healthcare often makes assumptions, reducing people to numbers, compliance rates, or dollar signs. But as physical therapists, trainers, and coaches, we have the power to change that. We can choose to ask more questions, listen to our patients, and remember that the person in front of us is more than just a body in need of rehab—they’re a human being with a unique set of motivations, barriers, and needs.

Going to that dentist appointment reminded me of something essential: we have to believe our patients. We need to resist the urge to lecture and instead dig deeper. Ask more questions. Be curious. When we do that, we build trust, strengthen relationships, and ultimately help our patients succeed in ways that matter to them. Because at the end of the day, that’s what healthcare should be about—people, not numbers.